Schlock Mercenary Wiki
Book 5: The Scrapyard of Insufferable Arrogance
Author Howard Tayler
Illustrator Howard Tayler
Travis Walton
Publication date March 2004 - September 11th, 2004
Published by Self-Published
Publication Order
Preceded by
Book 4: The Blackness Between
Followed by
Book 6: Resident Mad Scientist



Part II: A Hand of Acey's (CSI Parody)[]

The Tagon Toughs need a fabber, and Acey Nubs is giving them the first shot at buying a tausennigan one. However, the deal somehow went sour, with Acey Nubs dead, and the Captain and Schlock detained in the Ozvega detention center.

Grizzly, Copper and Ryk investigate the crime scene, determine that Acey Nubs was shot in the middle of the chest with a plasma weapon. The obvious evidence is identified as an attempted suicide by an Evvi-bot, with the rest of the police force going to pursue an obvious conviction.

Although the evidence seems solid, Ryk first shows a recording of Schlock and Massey discussing their defence, where even Massey believes Schlock is guilty. This convincex Grizzly to review the evidence. After a quick review, it's determined that it was a case of cloneicide.

Schlock was assigned as Acey's bodyguard, and while the facility was secure, it didn't have precautions against a gate clone. The clone used a weapon to incapacitate Schlock, and Acey Nubs grabed the plasma cannon to kill the gate clone. Because Acey was trapped, he had to use a knife to cut off his own hand. After escaping, Acey used his burnt lower-left hand to transfer power of attorney to an AI which shunted wealth through a series of launderings.

At the end, a Tausennigan bounty hunter grabs Grizzly in an attempt to get information about Acey Nubs. He was quickly destroyed by Schlock.


  • The explaination of isotopes in Part 2 is oversimplified and inaccurate to the degree where the forensic scientist confuses it with atomic identity. However, the logic would have worked. [1]