Editing The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries

[[File:Seventy_Maxims_(cover).jpg|thumb]]
'''''The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries '''''is a popular handbook in the ''Schlock Mercenary'' universe. The book's maxims are often quoted by [[Kaff Tagon|Tagon]], as well as other characters. The following is a list of the maxims found in ''Schlock Mercenary'', ordered by maxim number.

:1. Pillage, ''then'' burn.<ref name="pillage">[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2002-02-07 7 February 2002]</ref>
:2. A Sergeant in motion outranks a Lieutenant who doesn't know what's going on.<ref name="sergeant">[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2009-07-31 31 July 2009]</ref>
:3. An ordnance technician at a dead run outranks ''everybody''.<ref name="ordnance tech">[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2009-11-01 1 November 2009]</ref>
:4. Close air support covers a multitude of sins.<ref name="sins">[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2008-04-14 14 April 2008]</ref>
:5. Close air support and friendly fire should be easier to tell apart.<ref name="friendly fire">[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2010-04-21 21 April 2010]</ref>
:6. If violence wasn’t your last resort, you failed to resort to enough of it. <ref name="last resort">[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2005-03-13 13 March 2005]</ref>
:7. If the food is good enough, the grunts will stop complaining about the incoming fire.<ref name="grunts food">[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2011-04-20 20 April 2011]</ref>
:8. Mockery and derision have their place. Usually, it's on the far side of the airlock.<ref name="mockery">[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2002-11-21 21 November 2002]</ref>
:9. Never turn your back on an enemy. <ref name="do unto others">[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2003-03-08 8 March 2003]</ref>
:10. Sometimes the only way out is through. . . through the hull.<ref name="through the hull">[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2009-01-17 17 January 2009]</ref>
:11. Everything is air-droppable at least once. <ref name="air-droppable">[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2008-04-15 15 April 2008]</ref>
:12. A soft answer turneth away wrath. Once wrath is looking the other way, shoot it in the head. <ref name="mockery">[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2002-11-21 21 November 2002]</ref>
:13. Do unto others. <ref name="do unto others">[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2003-03-08 8 March 2003]</ref>
:14. "Mad Science" means never stopping to ask "what's the worst thing that could happen?" <ref name="RMS Back cover">[http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2682/4538945830_46eff5b45a.jpg 'Resident Mad Scientist'', back cover'']</ref>
:15. Only you can prevent friendly fire. <ref name="prevent friendly fire">[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2010-11-18 18 November 2010]</ref>
:16. Your name is in the mouth of others: be sure it has teeth. <ref name="mockery">[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2002-11-21 21 November 2002]</ref>
:17. The longer everything goes according to plan, the bigger the impending disaster. <ref name="impending disaster">[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2012-02-20 20 February 2012] </ref>
:18. If the officers are leading from in front, watch out for an attack from the rear. <ref name="leading from front">[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2012-01-04 4 January 2012]</ref>
:19. The world is richer when you turn enemies into friends, but that's not the same as you being richer.<ref name="world is richer">[https://twitter.com/howardtayler/status/262235640823963648 Twitter (needs comic cite)]</ref>
:20. If you're not willing to shell your own position, you're not willing to win. <ref name="not willing to win">[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2012-01-15 15 January 2012]</ref>
:21. Give a man a fish, feed him for a day. Take his fish away and tell him he's lucky just to be alive, and he'll figure out how to catch another one for you to take tomorrow. <ref name="seven habits">[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2004-04-04 4 April 2004]</ref>
:22. If you can see the whites of their eyes, somebody's done something wrong. <ref name="whites of their eyes">[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2012-07-13 13 July 2012]</ref>
:23. The company mess and friendly fire should be easier to tell apart <ref name="company mess and friendly fire">[https://twitter.com/howardtayler/status/262235805651726336 Twitter (needs comic cite)]</ref>
:24. Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from a big gun. <ref name="indistingusihable from a big gun">[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2012-03-18 18 March 2012]</ref>
:25. If the damage you do is covered by a manufacturers warranty, you didn't do enough damage.<ref name="manufacturers warranty">[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2012-11-25 25 Nov 2012]</ref>
:''Amended:'' If a manufacturer's warranty covers the damage you did, you didn't do enough damage.<ref name=":0">Planet Mercenary Kickstarter (70 Maxims PDF) 14 October 2016</ref>
:26. "Fire and Forget" is fine, provided you never actually forget.<ref name=":0" />
:27. Don't be afraid to be the first to resort to violence.<ref name="resort to violence">[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2003-03-08 8 March 2003]</ref>
:28. If the price of collateral damage is high enough, you might be able to get paid for bringing ammunition home with you. <ref name="bringing ammo home">[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2011-09-07 7 September 2011]</ref>
:29. The enemy of my enemy is my enemy's enemy. No more. No less.<ref name="resort to violence">[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2003-03-08 8 March 2003]</ref>
:30. A little trust goes a long way. The less you use, the further you'll go.<ref name="resort to violence">[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2003-03-08 8 March 2003]</ref>
:31. Only cheaters prosper.<ref name="cheaters prosper">[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2003-05-11 11 May 2003]</ref>
:32. Anything is amphibious if you can get it back out of the water.<ref name="anything is amphibious">[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2013-09-29 28 September 2013]</ref>
:33. If you're leaving tracks, you're being followed.<ref name="leaving tracks">[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2013-10-21 21 Oct 2013]</ref>
:34. If you’re leaving scorch-marks, you need a bigger gun.<ref name="Serial Peacemaker">[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2004-02-29 29 February 2004]</ref>
:35. That which does not kill you has made a tactical error.<ref name="t-shirt">T-shirt sold by Tayler</ref>
:''Amended:'' That which does not kill me has made a tactical error.<ref name=":0" />
:36. When the going gets tough, the tough call for close air support.<ref name="tough call">[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2003-10-02 2 October 2003]</ref>
:37. There is no 'overkill.' There is only 'open fire' and 'I need to reload.'<ref name="overkill">[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2004-02-23 23 February 2004]</ref>
:''Amended:'' There is no "overkill." There is only "open fire" and "reload."<ref name=":0" />
:38. Just because it's easy for you doesn't mean it can't be hard on your clients.<ref name="hard on clients">[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2004-03-26 26 March 2004]</ref>
:''Amended:'' What's easy for you can still be hard on your clients.<ref name=":0" />
:39. There is a difference between spare parts and extra [parts].<ref name="spare parts">[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2014-05-03 03 May 2014]</ref>
:40. Not all good news is enemy action. <ref>http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2014-09-05</ref>
:41. “Do you have a backup?” means “I can’t fix this.” <ref name="I can’t fix this">[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2013-10-04 3 October 2013]</ref>
:42. "They'll never expect this" means "I want to try something stupid."
:43. If it's stupid and it works, it's still stupid and you're lucky.
:44. If it will blow a hole in the ground, it will double as an entrenching tool. <ref name="Entrenchment">[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2014-02-18 18 February 2014]</ref>
:45. The size of the combat bonus is inversely proportional to the likelihood of surviving to collect it.<ref name=":1">[2015 Calendar]</ref>
:46. Don’t try to save money by conserving ammunition.
:47. Don't expect the enemy to cooperate in the creation of your dream engagement.<ref name="dream engagement">[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2014-01-19 19 January 2014]</ref>
:48. If it ain't broke, it hasn't been issued to the infantry. <ref name=":1" />
:49. Every client is one missed payment away from becoming a target <ref>[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2015-03-11 11 March 2015]</ref> and every target is one bribe away from becoming a client.<ref name=":0" />
:50. If it only works in exactly the way the manufacturer intended, it is defective.<ref name=":0" />
:51. Let them see you sharpen the sword before you fall on it.<ref>[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2014-09-24 24 September 2014]</ref>
:52. The army you've got is never the army you want.<ref name=":2">[2014-02-22]</ref> <ref name=":0" />
:53. The intel you've got is never the intel you want. <ref name=":2" /> <ref name=":0" />
:54. It's only too many troops if you can't pay them.<ref name=":0" />
:55. It's only too many weapons if they're pointing in the wrong direction.<ref name=":0" />
:56. Infantry exists to paint targets for people with real guns.<ref name=":0" />
:57. Artillery exists to launch large chunks of budget at an enemy it cannot actually see.<ref name=":0" />
:58. The pen is mightiest when it writes orders for more swords.<ref name=":0" />
:59. "Two wrongs is probably not going to be enough."<ref>(22 March 2016 )</ref>
:60. Any weapon's rate of fire is inversely proportional to the number of available targets.<ref name=":0" />
:61. Don't bring big grenades into small rooms.<ref name=":3">[https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2016-09-18 18 Sept 2016]</ref>
:62. Anything labeled "This end toward enemy" is dangerous at both ends.<ref name=":0" />
:63. The brass knows how to do it by knowing who can do it.<ref name=":0" />
:64. An ounce of sniper is worth a pound of suppressing fire.
:65. After the toss, be the one with the pin, not the one with the grenade.<ref name=":0" />
:66. Necessity is the mother of deception.<ref name=":0" />
:67. If you can't carry cash, carry a weapon.<ref name=":0" />
:68. Negotiating from a position of strength does not mean you shouldn’t also negotiate from a position near the exits.
:69. Sometimes rank is a function of firepower.<ref name=":0" />
:70. Failure is not an option - it is mandatory. The option is whether or not to let failure be the last thing you do.<ref name=":3" />

==Behind the Scenes==
The book was originally called ''The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Pirates'', but in January 2011, [[Howard Tayler]] received a cease and desist letter from Franklin Covey, stating that Franklin Covey ''(referred to as Covetous Franklinstein)''<ref>https://www.schlockmercenary.com/blog/the-great-retcon-of-twenty-eleven/</ref> has a trademark on the phrase "7 Habits". Tayler then edited all dialog in the strip that mentioned the book's title or its rules, in what he called the Great Retcon of 2011.

==Notes==
*The book itself was published in real life in 2017 by [[Howard Tayler]]'s Kickstart's Backerskit.<ref>[https://howardtayler.com/2017/04/seventy-maxims-maximally-available/ Howard Tayler's website announcing a physical book being published with the seventy maxims.]</ref>

==References==
{{Reflist|2}}

{{Wikipedia|Schlock Mercenary#The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Pirates}}
[[Category:Schlock Mercenary]]